Just like every morning, I get the kids and walk them down to school. And just like every morning I walk through the same spider's web; always right across my arms and chest. I believe that the spider had gotten sick of me routinely ruining it's work, so taking my lack of height into consideration, this spider decided that it would build its web a little higher. As we all know, spiders do not come equiped with a measuring device of any sort, so its calculations were a little off. Rather than relocating its web on my upper body, I (and probably the spider too) was surprise to have it end up all over my face.
Knowing that I had run out of cigarettes this morning, I had decided to put on my sneakers so that after I dropped off my daughters I could make the 30 minute walk to the nearest gas station....
Minding my own business on my way up to the Chevron, I walked peacefully. It is probably beyond obvious that for me to walk anywhere past my block I must cross the street. Unfortunately this given is not so obvious to some:
A largely overset woman informed me after I made my way from one strip of sidewalk to another on the otherside of the intersect that my actions were "dangerous."
I stopped, looked around and asked "Crossing the street?"
"Yeah, you've got that baby! That's dangerous!"
Acknowledging the extreme lack of traffic on the road, I gave her my most polite smile, knodded as if taking her opinion into consideration, and without breaking eye contact I returned her verbal opinion with my own, "So is over eating." Then I smiled the sweetest smile I could, and continued walking.
About half way to my destination I found a tangled weave on the ground, and wondered if it belonged to the opinionated overset lady.
I felt much less tense after I purchased and lit my morning cigarette, and so ignored the gentleman who shouted out his window a suggestion of the two us having relations of some sort as he drove past me on my way back home.
Lesson learned (at the cost of the opinionated lady): It pays to be annoyingly polite.
1 comment:
Haha, that's awsome. So is over eating.
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