Why Smoking is bad...but Myspace is good

I went out to the garage (my smoke haven) to smoke this morning, Ember, my two year old, was playing with the door like always...but today she decided to locked me out with her inside.

My first reaction was to grab the spare key that we keep in the garage...that happened to be inside now because Jason and I were racing around the house the other day and I used it to get inside when he locked me out, then of course I left it inside.

Then I went to the stroller where I had my set of keys this morning when I went to take the girls to school....then I realized I took those inside when I came home.

So then I went to get my cell phone...which I found was also inside.

...

After 20 minutes of trying to instruct my 26 month old how to unlock the door, she began to flip out and demanded that "MAMA COME INSIDE!" So I did as any mother and hestitantly rushed to a neighbors house to call HB (fearing leaving my toddler completely alone)... of course that's when I remember that I don't have his phone number memorized. So I ran back home and my toddler was still screaming.

With Ember's cries, I grew more irrational and urgent to get inside. That's when I thought to myself..."I could use a credit card!" Seeing as I didn't have my wallet, I used the tools in the garage. Apparently credit cards are used in the movies because they work better than garage tools.

Nearing panic, I considered the hammer I was then holding, thinking strongly about hacking the door down with it, and also seriously considered drilling the lock out as I looked the drill I was holding in my other hand...

...but then I saw my lifeline...the laptop, which I took with me to smoke...

I IM'ed my father, who happens to be my landlord, thinking maybe, just maybe as the landlord he would have Jason's cell phone number. Unfortunately when his IM icon says "away" it really means he's not at his computer.

So I logged onto myspace and saw that my friends were online. I e-mailed them both only to have no one respond. (Not knowing that one got my e-mail and was frantically gathering her son and rushing to my house)

The battery on my laptop was running low. Sitting by the window as Ember sat on the other side (crying of course) I looked up pictures of door knobs on the internet, thinking it might be poosible for me to teach her how to unlock a door by showing her a picture through the window.

Trying my very best to keep calm I started a controlled cry (which is different from a panicked cry) and that's when I heard my friend pull up. I ran to her as she came out of her car.

She called her husband to get HB's number...but her husband only had mine. So we called Verizon to get HB's number, though dear friend has a Colorado Verizon number and they couldn't look up HB's Texas Verizon number. (this was discovered after giving her my verizon number 4 times and her telling me that I didn't have an account, then her realizing that my area code was not a Colorado one).

So they transfered me to a Texas Verizon representative, and the Texas Verizon lady explained to me in detail of the security policy restricting her from giving me HB's number direction, she personally connected me through to him.

Ember was home inside by herself for 45 minutes by the time I finally got connected to HB and told him what was going on and that he needed to come home to let me in the house, he could barely hear me over his own laughter.


Lesson of the day: Smoking is bad, could get you locked out of your house.