Joys of Parenthood

I hate walmart, always have. Nothing good happens when I go to walmart. But I had to pick up some dinner and send out a western union to my husband and I figured I could brave walmart today with my three girls.

Mistake 1: I took all three kids with me to Walmart.

While traveling towards the food section, we came across a display of children's sun glasses and all the kids got excited, so we took our time and played around trying on all the different kinds and making faces at each other.

Mistake 2: Don't take your time in Walmart with 3 kids.

After some giggles and selecting which pairs of sun glasses the girls wanted we went off to the grocery isles. Then somewhere in the frozen foods section Nana (who is 5) had a melt down. She noticed that I wasn't getting chicken nuggets and that's want she wanted. So she cried.

Mistake 3: I took the kids to get food with me at Walmart, and didn't let them pick what they wanted to eat for dinner.

We then made our way to the checkout lines when Nana decided that she didn't like the glasses she chose. So her crying about chciken nuggets turned into a fit about not getting the glasses she wanted. I gave her 2 options, to love the glasses because she looks beautiful in them or to not get them since she doesn't want them. This upset her even more and her fit transformed into a feet stomping tantrum of screams (very uncharacteristic of her). Shocked by her reaction, I suggested she stop because she wasn't being very lady like. My suggestion upset her more.

Mistake 4: Don't make suggestions for a 5 year old.

As the products of food were being rung up, her tantrum continued. So I decided that she wasn't behaving well enough to receive sun glasses, and I took them out of the cart. I paid for my goods and went to the bank inside walmart to get the western union money orders for HB.

Mistake 5: Don't reason with a 5 year's behavior

Filling out the money order, Nana continued her rantings, "I WANT MY SUN GLASSES! I WANT MY SUN GLASS!" again and again and again. At this point I began a calming breathing exercise and pretended I was far away. it would have worked if the snotty bank tellers weren't looking at me as if I was a horrible person. It took 35 minutes for the teller to put my order in and half way threw Nana's screams (yes, they were screams) turned into "I HAVE TO GO PEE!"and she displayed a the dramatic version of the pee-pee dance. The teller with my ID and Debit Card took her sweet time and glared at me as if I was aweful.

Mistake 6: I got a first time bank teller who didn't realize I can't take my screaming child to the bathroom until she hands me my cards back.

Becoming somewhat irritated now, I began counting out loud and breathing heavier. My frustrations not able to contain themselves, I snapped....at the bank teller. In a not so kind manner, I informed that my screaming child needed to go to the bathroom and I needed to exit Walmart as quickly as possible, so she needs to hurry up or find someone to that knows what they are doing. Rather than understanding my situation, the bank teller threw my attitude back at me which infuriated me more so.

Mistake 7: Sometimes I should keep my mouth shut.

After the 35 minutes at the bank and a total of 40 minutes of Nana's tantrum, I took her to the bathroom. She quieted down, did her thing, but the moment we left the bathroom she began screaming again, "I WANT MY GLASSES!" At this point I am in complete disbelief and I had to bend over to pick my jaw up from the floor. I explained that she wasn't getting them because of her attitude and we were leaving.

Passing the bank, the tellers continued their glare towards me and as if on cue the far end of the cart shocked Nana with a jolt of static electricity. Not realizing this right away I was blown away when her yells switched to "MOMMY, YOU HURT ME MOMMY! YOU HURT ME!"

Mistake 8: don't walk to close to a scream child, incase you shock them.

So of course, a dedicated Walmart employee with a heart of gold and an apparent child activist walked up to me and informed me that she had called security on me.

Mistake 9: I went to Walmart.

So I wait, with my screaming child and my 2 other dumbfounded children. Security came and thank god Sissy (my 8 year old) persisted that I was telling the truth and Nana was just having a fit because of chicken nugget and sun glasses.

Not pausing, Nana continued her tantrum, now screaming a combination of sentenses about chicken nuggets, sun glasses, and me hurting her. We walked out to the car, and I discovered that I put my keys down somewhere in the darn store during the screaming and left them there.

Mistake 9: I went to Walmart with 3 kids and stayed during a tantrum to western union money to my husband, leaving my keys somewhere during the chaos.

Going back in, the heroic employee who saves children from evil mothers, the security guard, and the bank tellers acknowledged my reentrance with the same glare at me and a sympathic look at the still screaming Nana, as if these people don't have children and don't understand that tantrums aren't always caused from an evil mom. I found my keys at the bank and made my way home.



Trace Adkins says in his new song that, "I'm gonna miss this".....yeah, the joys of parenthood are full of highlights. Maybe one day, long from now, when Nana has her own child who throws a tantrum around people who obviously have no children and call security on her, I'll look back and at this moment and miss it....or laugh at her the way my parents laugh at me now