It happened again....

So I've been in a funk since school got out, a bit depressed and somewhat hollow feeling. Though the hollow feeling increased a few days ago. I blamed it on many reasons, none of which made sense to me. Then I thought, "I need to go see family." And this urge to "go see family" became more and more urgent. Of course, I assumed that I needed to go see my family. Then today I scrunched numbers and became excited when the possibility to go home for Thanksgiving began to open up. So I drove to the grocery store, scheming on how this will work out, only to realized when I was at the checkout that it probably wasn't a good idea being that Christmas is nearing on us. So again, the little light that filled me up inside dimmed down.

Driving home, for some odd reason I realized "HB's family is family!" (Duh, I know). And his Aunt lives just an hour and a half from us. So I got overwhelmed with excitment on going to see his family for Thanksgiving.

When I got home to share my revelation with HB, HB looked at me with sorrow eyes and said in a very controlled manner that his great aunt (who raised him for 3 years when he was 4) was on life support for lung disease. His Aunt that lives near us was going to Louisiana to go see her. So I pushed that we should go too, being that I've been overcome with the need to see "family" and felt fulfilled by the thought that "family" was really his family, not mine.

HB being the non-optimist that he is was against it. He used financial reasons as an excuse, but I know it's probably more along the lines of coming face to face with sweet childhood memories and the dark reality of his aunt being near death...even as a man, he is not strong enough to face this.

It seems that whenever a member of my family is ill or has become deceased, no matter the distance between myself and them, I have a deep inner self telling me in a not so direct way with a loud and urgent voice, I suppose this goes to show that this voice of mine is not limited to strictly my bloodline.